How to Host An Epic White Elephant Gift Party

If you're looking to add some fun to your holiday gift exchange this season, you may want to consider hosting a white elephant gift party. Whether you are celebrating the holiday in your cozy cottage-style home in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, or a charming mid-rise apartment in Denver, Colorado, these tips will help you host the epic white elephant party.

What is a white elephant gift exchange?

The rules are simple: each person brings a wrapped gift (wrapping is a must) and places their gift into a pile with no tags or discernible markers. The first player then takes a turn grabbing a random gift from that pile. What happens after is what makes this game so fun. Each player either takes a turn “stealing" a gift from someone else or choosing an unopened gift from the pile.

One reason this game is popular is that unlike a Secret Santa exchange, where you have to get a specific person a gift, a white elephant gift exchange is pretty neutral since the gift is not intended for one particular recipient. You don't have to try to decipher what they may or may not like, especially if you don't know them very well.

The white elephant game rules will vary by the audience. For example, some groups put a monetary cap so gifts cost $20 or less. Some like to have just one round of "stealing," while others allow for two rounds, letting the original person “steal back" their first choice. Others allow the first player to also be the last player so they can steal again if they like. Some people start the game order by age (youngest goes first, for example), while others have guests draw numbers to determine who chooses a gift from the pile first.

The rules are fluid and anything goes, but it's good to go through the rules before the stealing begins so everyone is on the same page and there are no hurt feelings.

The origins of the white elephant party

So, how did this party game even begin?

According to legend, the white elephant tradition began years ago when the King of Siam — currently Thailand — allegedly gave an actual white elephant to anyone he didn't like. The reason is that while “white" elephants were a respected symbol in Thai and Buddhist cultures, they were also rare and expensive to care for, making them a financial burden for the person who received the gift.

“When a Siamese despot takes a grudge against one of his poorer subjects and determines on his ruin, he does not cut off the delinquent's head and confiscate his property," according to a New York Times article about white elephants dated May 28, 1873. “On the contrary, he makes him a present; he sends him the handsomest and healthiest white elephant he can find. The luckless recipient knows at once that his fate is sealed… He cannot sell or give away the fatal gift, for no one would accept it, and the attempt to get rid of it even would be direct treason or sacrilege."

The legend, according to Ross Bullen, a professor of liberal arts at Toronto's OCAD University, is just that: a legend. In his essay titled '“This Alarming Generosity:" White Elephants and the Logic of the Gift' published in "American Literature" in December 2011, he acknowledges we've been using the term white elephant to describe burdensome or useless possessions and have been since 19th-century America. But the facts pretty much end there.

In his essay, Bullen cites Thai author and historian Rita Ringis, who shares, [N]o Siamese monarch ever considered white elephants 'burdensome' nor gave them away, for according to ancient tradition, possession of one or many of these symbolized a king's virtue or barami."

Hosting a white elephant gift exchange

Regardless of its origins, the white elephant gift exchange has become a time-honored tradition for many as a fun holiday office party activity, classroom school event, friend get-together, or family entertainment.

If you're thinking about hosting a white elephant gift exchange, or a Yankee Swap or Dirty Santa, as they're sometimes referred to, consider some parameters to make the experience fun for everyone. The best part is you can add this kind of activity to any other festivities you're hosting, whether it's Hannukah, Christmas, a cocktail party, or some other reason for the celebratory gathering.

“To create a memorable holiday party, start with a fun and inviting entryway. Twinkling lights, a festive wreath, and a playful welcome sign can instantly set a positive tone. Consider adding a quirky element, like a silly decoration or a unique sound, to encourage guests to embrace their playful side.

Also, create a visually appealing gift display area. A table adorned with holiday lights and tinsel can showcase the wrapped gifts, while scattered cardboard question marks add an element of mystery and intrigue. This encourages guests to anticipate the excitement of the gift exchange.” – Denise Dudley 

Create a theme

Could it be book-focused? Or encourage people to gift a useful item? Will you allow gag gifts? Knowing what to expect going in will make the experience fun for everyone.

“A white elephant party is all about fun, laughter, and surprises! As your party planner, I suggest setting a playful theme, like silly hats’ or ‘fun socks,’ to add extra charm and creativity to the gift exchange. Keep the atmosphere light and cozy with comfortable seating and easy-to-reach snacks, creating a space where everyone can unwind and enjoy the unpredictability of the gifts!” — Jasmine with Partyology Event Planning

Put a price on it

Cap it at a certain price level or encourage people to take a DIY approach! Others encourage guests to re-gift something they have and no longer want, need, or use. Or, find something from their own home they can pass along to someone else. The cost of the gift isn't the point of the exchange. It's about the item behind the wrapping.

“I recommend starting the planning process for a white elephant exchange by selecting a theme. Various interpretations of a white elephant exchange include humorous gag gifts to favorite things or holiday ornaments. It is essential to communicate the chosen theme clearly to ensure all guests are prepared to exchange similar items. Establish a spending limit and outline the exchange rules ahead of time to ensure a smooth and enjoyable experience for all participants.” – Lindsay Sims with Toast Events

Hide the contents

Encourage participants to take great care in their wrapping. The more elaborate, the better, since participants will think what's inside is really special.

 “The joy of giving is in the surprise! Encourage your guests to think outside the box when choosing their gifts — quirky, humorous, and even slightly bizarre items often spark the best reactions and the most laughter. Consider setting a fun theme or budget that inspires creativity and watch as everyone competes to find the most unique presents. After all, the spirit of a White Elephant party is all about fun and enjoyment, so let the surprises flow and the good times roll!” – The Glitz Plano

The best white elephant gifts

Wondering what to bring to a white elephant gift exchange? According to Roberta Jeeves, author of the book "White Elephant Gift Exchanges: Rules, Themes, and Ideas for Hosting a Perfect Holiday Gift Swap," who also hosts the White Elephant Rules official website, what makes for a successful white elephant gift could be broken down into one of three categories:

• Funny or naughty. Funny gifts garner the most laughs, but unless that's the party's theme, they're not the most desirable items for swapping.
• Weird. That multi-use knife that doubles as a can opener that you'd never buy for yourself? Toilet bowl-shaped coffee mug? Perfect white elephant gifts!
• Nice. Not all white elephant parties are naughty or weird. Nice ones are just as fun, especially when they're wrapped up nicely and people get into the whole stealing experience.

“Gift themes can range from pop culture to self-care. For movie and TV enthusiasts, a Harry Potter-themed night with a robe, wand, and Bertie Bott's Beans is magical. Marvel fans can enjoy a superhero spa night with themed bath bombs and face masks. For a more relaxed approach, an Office-inspired gift basket with a ‘World's Best Boss’ mug and stress ball can provide a chuckle.” – Elegant Occasions by JoAnn Gregoli

Strategies for success

• Arrive early: Be one of the first to pick a gift. This gives you a better chance of selecting a desirable item before it's stolen.
• Observe the crowd: Pay attention to what gifts others are eyeing. If you see someone eyeing a particular gift, it might be a good one to steal.
• The art of the steal: Don't be afraid to steal a good gift. It's part of the fun! However, be strategic about when and what you steal.
• The mystery gift: If you're unsure about a gift, consider taking a chance on it. Sometimes, the most unexpected gifts turn out to be the best.
• The re-gift strategy: Re-gift a well-wrapped, desirable item. This can be a sneaky way to get a good gift into the mix.

Make the white elephant gift exchange a tradition

The holidays are a time to get together, enjoy friends and family, and share in the merriment of the season. Gifts are part of that experience. While not everyone participates in a white elephant gift exchange, it can become a wonderful and fun tradition to add to any get-together this season and beyond.