If you're looking to add some fun to your holiday gift exchange this season, you may want to consider hosting a white elephant gift party. The rules are simple: each person brings a wrapped gift (wrapping is a must) and places their gift into a pile with no tags or discernable markers. The first player then takes a turn grabbing a random gift from that pile. What happens after is what makes this game so fun. Each player either takes a turn “stealing" a gift from someone else or choosing an unopened gift from the pile.
One reason this game is popular is unlike a Secret Santa exchange, where you have to get a specific person a gift, a white elephant gift exchange is pretty neutral since the gift is not intended for one particular recipient. You don't have to try to decipher what they may or may not like, especially if you don't know them very well.
The white elephant game rules will vary by the audience. For example, some groups put a monetary cap so gifts cost $20 or less. Some like to have just one round of “stealing" while others allow for two rounds, letting the original person “steal back" their first choice. Others allow the first player to also be the last player so they can steal again if they like.
Some people start the game order by age (youngest goes first, for example) while others have guests draw numbers to determine who chooses a gift from the pile first.
The rules are fluid and anything goes but it's good to go through the rules before the stealing begins so everyone is on the same page and there are no hurt feelings.
So, how did this party game even begin?
According to legend, the white elephant tradition began years ago when the King of Siam— currently Thailand — allegedly gave an actual white elephant to anyone he didn't like. The reason is that while “white" elephants were a respected symbol in Thai and Buddhist cultures, they were also rare and expensive to care for, making them a financial burden for the person who received the gift.
“When a Siamese despot takes a grudge against one of his poorer subjects and determines on his ruin, he does not cut off the delinquent's head and confiscate his property," according to a New York Times article about white elephants dated May 28, 1873. “On the contrary, he makes him a present he sends him the handsomest and healthiest white elephant he can find. The luckless recipient knows at once that his fate is sealed…He cannot sell or give away the fatal gift, for no one would accept it, and the attempt to get rid of it even would be direct treason or sacrilege."
The legend, according to Ross Bullen, a professor of liberal arts at Toronto's OCAD University, is just that: a legend. In his essay titled '“This Alarming Generosity:" White Elephants and the Logic of the Gift' published in "American Literature" in December 2011, he acknowledges we've been using the term white elephant to describe burdensome or useless possessions and have been since 19th-century America. But the facts pretty much end there.
In his essay, Bullen cites Thai author and historian Rita Ringis who shares,“[N]o Siamese monarch ever considered white elephants 'burdensome' nor gave them away, for according to ancient tradition, possession of one or many of these symbolized a king's virtue or barami."
Regardless of its origins, the white elephant gift exchange has become a time-honored tradition for many as a fun holiday office party activity, classroom school event, friend get-together or family entertainment.
If you're thinking about hosting a white elephant gift exchange, or a Yankee Swap or Dirty Santa, as they're sometimes referred to, consider some parameters to make the experience fun for everyone. The best part is you can add this kind of activity to any other festivities you're hosting, whether it's Hannukah, Christmas, a cocktail party or some other reason for the celebratory gathering.
Could it be book-focused? Or encourage people to gift a useful item? Will you allow gag gifts? I once attended a party where someone gifted a (new) thong without realizing her new boyfriend's grandmother would be in attendance. Guess who “won" that gift? The grandmother ended up with the thong, mortifying the gift-giver. Luckily everyone enjoyed the laugh and they ended up getting married. Still, knowing what to expect going in will make the experience fun for everyone.
Cap it at a certain price level or encourage people to take a DIY approach! Others encourage guests to re-gift something they have and no longer want, need or use. Or, find something from their own home they can pass along to someone else. The cost of the gift isn't the point of the exchange. It's about the item behind the wrapping.
Encourage participants to take great care in their wrapping! The more elaborate, the better, since participants will think what's inside will be really special.
Wondering what to bring to a white elephant gift exchange? According to Roberta Jeeves, author of the book "White Elephant Gift Exchanges: Rules, Themes, and Ideas for Hosting a Perfect Holiday Gift Swap," who also hosts the White Elephant Rules official website, what makes for a successful white elephant gift could be broken down into one of three categories:
The holidays are a time to get together, enjoy friends and family and share in the merriment of the season. Gifts are part of that experience. While not everyone participates in a white elephant gift exchange, it can become a wonderful and fun tradition to add to any get-together this season and beyond.