Libby McMillan Henson
should we live together

You're thinking about how to celebrate Valentine's Day, and you've already been thining about asking your partner to move in with you. If you think you're ready to take the plunge, the day of hearts and roses would be the perfect day to ask the question. But the conversation can turn non-romantic if you're not careful. Here's what you need to know about popping the "other" question.

Use 'Should" and "Might'

Even if you both think living together sounds great, depending on the stage your relationship is in, you might need to take a close look at some financial or lifestyle issues before making the commitment. So instead of saying "Let's move in together!" it might be wiser to say something like "I can picture us living together. Why don't we talk about what that would look like, and how it would work?" This not only takes the pressure off BOTH of you, it sets a realistic stage for the conversations ahead.


Don't Kill the Buzz with Logistics on Valentine's

Moving in together involves business-like decisions: who will pay for what, who will clean (and how often), who gets to keep their furniture. These are not typically easy topics to tackle, even for the most loving of couples. Consider basking in the glow of having verbalized the possibility . . . and make a promise to discuss logistics when the candles aren't lit . . . that's best saved for another day.

Give a Romantic Tour of your Home

Instead of talking about money and cleaning products, offer a light-hearted tour of your home, as if to a potential roommate. Add a romantic twist to keep it in the mood of Valentine's.  Point out all the places you can canoodle in each room. Hold hands as you move from room to room. This way, you are creating a special evening with a nice memory, no matter what the conversation's outcome is at a later point.

Talk about a Larger Apartment

One subject that's fun to talk about is 'what would you do with an extra bedroom or a larger floorplan?'  Would you use an extra bedroom for home offices?  Would you like to invite out-of-town friends to spend the night? Might you want to get a small pet?  It's fun to dream about upgrading to a larger apartment.


However you handle bringing up the question, we hope you have a happy Valentine's!

Related:  Critical questions to ask a potential roommate

Related:  Moving in together? Traps to avoid





About The Author

A contributing editor and video producer at ApartmentGuide and, Libby McMillan Henson has created award-winning content for radio, tv, print and digital for over two decades. Libby recently authored a book about her home base of Greenville, SC, and has also lived in Austin, San Francisco, Nashville, Boston and Sanibel/Captiva Islands. A lifelong traveler and photographer, Libby loves exploring new places and sharing her finds.