After dating someone for a while, the question of moving in together is bound to come up. At first, it seems like a logical idea. After all, why pay for two apartments when you’re spending all your time together anyway?
But just because it seems to make financial sense doesn't make it an all-around good decision. There are lots of other factors that need to be fleshed out if moving in together is a hot topic of conversation between love birds.
Are you really ready to move in with your boo? Here are some signs that you should probably think twice before planning an elaborate his and her living space.
You feel pressured. Whether that pressure is coming from your partner, parent or friend, it’s definitely not the way you want to start out a life with someone. If you have any doubts whatsoever, it’ll be in your best interest to trust your instinct. Of course, having cold feet now doesn't mean you should never move in with your sweetheart. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with waiting, perhaps six months to a year, to iron things out and give yourself time to adjust to the idea.
You’re not comfortable sharing your personal space. Even if you love your honey bunny more than life itself, that warm and cuddly feeling is likely to fade once you start sharing a bathroom together. Sharing an apartment is a whole different ball game because you have to be okay with giving up some of your independence. If you feel you might resent moving in together, maybe it’s a good idea not to move forward with it until you can come to terms with how it will affect you and the quality of your relationship.
You and your significant other have never had a major argument or disagreement. Conflict resolution and compromise are two huge areas in which you’ll need some practice before moving in together. If you haven’t yet experienced a big fight, your living arrangement is going to seem like a mistake as soon as your first one rears its ugly head. Take time to work on figuring out how to sort through issues now so that you'll know up front how your partner deals with discord. You don't want any surprises after the ink has dried on a one year lease.
You haven’t discussed finances and other expectations up front. When it comes to grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, paying rent and utilities, the responsibilities of living together will need to be divvied up somehow. If you’re not sure whom will be accountable for which tasks, don’t even think about moving in together yet. Assuming that your sweetie pie will prepare a home cooked meal every single night when in reality he or she has no intention of doing so will surely cause strife soon after moving in.
You haven’t clearly outlined your deal-breakers. Is there anything your partner might do that could forfeit your living arrangement? For example, if he or she suddenly develops a smoking habit, or lies about what happened to the rent money. These are examples of deal-breakers that could send you both right to Splitsville. Whatever it is that you absolutely will not deal with, those hypothetical scenarios need to be discussed before even thinking about co-signing a lease together.